Friday, April 5, 2013

I Have No Words

I'm writing something a little more personal today. Everyone keeps offering to let me talk to them, and while its sweet and considerate,  it's easier just to write it out for me. That's what a blog's for, right?

This morning I had my second miscarriage. We had a scare a few weeks ago, and thought we had a faulty pregnancy test. The second line disappeared, and after taking more tests that came back negative we thought it was a fluke.

My first miscarriage we believe was caused by the Nuva Ring. We figured out I was pregnant the week before we lost him. I was probably 7-8 weeks along, not very far. A few months later we were surprised to find out we were pregnant again, and we were blessed with our rainbow baby, Bree, who is now 6 months old. We don't know how I got pregnant this time, or what caused me to lose it. I won't share details, its unnecessary. But it happened.

I feel pretty numb. Neither of us were ready to have another baby yet, but its still a painful process, physically and emotionally, it's losing a part of yourself. I have no words other than this. I was honestly surprised, my husband was crying in the car earlier. I don't know why this surprised me, I guess women sometimes assume they feel differently than men. Maybe they just hide their emotions better. I am thankful for his love, strength, and support right now.

Today I have nothing more to say, other than I would appreciate your prayers.


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