Stress & Blessings

Today was hard. Well, this week has been hard. We've been hit with some blows this week, in our friendships, our faith, our finances. Prayers/thoughts would be appreciated for us.

I've recently started working outside the home again, only a few hours a week, but now we have to decide it it's time for me to leave. Which is upsetting.

Don't get me wrong! My calling is to be a stay at home mom, I've always known this. For this season I took this job to help in some other areas. But it may be conflicting with some things. And we don't know what to do now. It's disheartening, I'm really enjoying my work and my new co-workers and I'll be sad to leave if/when it comes down to it.

As my emotions were high today my exceedingly active daughter did not want to be still, and wanted to be constantly touching me if not playing, sometimes both at the same time actually haha. I'm more and more understanding the mom term of being "over-touched." By nine p.m. as we were waiting for Daddy to come home, I was crawling out of my skin from my want to not be touched.

Bree is working on her seventh (7th!!!) tooth, and is a biting, teething, stinker because of it. She is allll about biting right now. Biting your face, your shoulder, your toes.... biting mommy while nursing... its been a joy. And she is getting into head butting (where this came from I do not know). Today was literally CryingBitingTeethingNursingTOUCHTOUCHTOUCH.  I was pretty frustrated, and that is okay because it totally happens.

At one point I just broke down crying. I hadn't eaten all day (not good for my supply), had a raging headache, a child who wouldn't be sat down... it wasn't seeming to end. Bree looked up at me and apparently found my breakdown hilarious, as she started clapped and laughing hysterically! When she realized how well she was clapping (something she's been working hard at) she was so pleased with herself she clapped and laughed even harder out of sheer glee.

Which of course made me smile and laugh too.

The tides are hopefully changing. I've been a very unhappy person this week, and I don't like how it affects myself and my family. I am so incredibly thankful though, that no matter how hard the day is, I have a little bundle of happiness who can cheer me up and brings me such joy. She is worth everything, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Pray for us, think positive thoughts, whatever it is you do. We can use them.  But even in our hardships we are filled with joy, its so wonderful, I really am blessed.

Life As Of Now, And Not Yelling...?

Life has been a tad crazy lately, and I'm working on a big piece that is taking a lot of time, energy, and research, so I've not been updating lately.

Bree is starting to attempt crawling. By this I mean froggy-legging land swimming, pushing herself forward with her feet. It's totally comical and adorable. Today she froggied over to one of our DVD racks and immediately began pulling them off, as high as her wee chubby arms could reach. DVD pulling is hugely entertaining, in case you didn't know. (Wink.)

It's also been stupidly warm out, and I am so thankful Hubbs got our A/C installed this week. One unit in our dining room window, and Bree is uber lucky to have gotten the second in her bedroom. The cute window seat in our bedroom comes with a price: the window is too large for our air conditioners. But it works out well, the flow of the two keeps it a nice temperature in here. Mama is pleased!

I found an awesome decal to put on our bedroom wall (they are always really expensive at JoAnn's and Hobby Lobby) for super cheap on Amazon. Check it out HERE. I cannot WAIT to put it up!

Also new in my life this week, I discovered this awesome blog post, The Important Thing About Yelling. It has really opened my eyes and I hope to implement it into life soon. By that, I mean currently working on it. I grew up with an emotionally and verbally abusive mom who yelled constantly and I know how it made me feel, and the issues I still struggle with because of it. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking that is okay. I don't want her to treat others that way, and I don't want her thinking it's okay for others to treat HER that way. She doesn't deserve to grow up in fear of her parents.

Hubbs and I are loud people. His family is loud, which made him loud, and I'm loud because I never had a voice (so to speak) and enjoy using it. We are just loud in general. But I've noted that because of some recent chaos I've let affect me lately, I've been yelling. I hate to admit it, but it feels like I've been yelling a lot. About every little thing.

And I don't like it. I don't like that I'm feeling that I have to yell to assert what I'm feeling and I don't like that yelling is the first thing that comes up when I'm feeling distressed. Seriously, the littlest thing causes an issue and I get vocal. "WHY does my stupid UNDERWIRE KEEP POPPING OUT!" Which is an understandable problem for most women, but not necessarily a moment worth yelling about.

So, my challenge for myself from now on is to validate my emotions better, talk it out, think about it before I speak, and do it differently. My sweethearts (the one I'm married to and the one I birthed) deserve that.