Homebirth Coloring Book Printable

If you're like me and want your kids to grow up with a normalized view of birth and not be scared when Mommy has a new baby, check this out!

It's a nifty free printable coloring book about a little boy whose mommy is pregnant and getting ready to have another baby.

The pages show him asking the midwife questions, seeing the birth kit, and hold the baby afterwards.

Its so sweet! If you'd like to check it out or print it, click the link below!

http://www.ncfom.org/Resources/Documents/HomebirthColoringBook.pdf

The Crunchy Daddy Takeover!

{Hello all, Alyssa here. My husband Justin wrote a post for me, and here it is! If I write anything or have any input, it will be in bold and written like this. Enjoy!}

It’s official.  The Crunchy Mama blog page has been invaded by the husband!

That’s right.  This week’s blog will be done by the man that my wife, Alyssa, has talked about on many different occasions.  

Now you would think that Alyssa would have asked me to do this, but actually, I was the one who asked her if it would be ok to take over for a change.  Usually, my wife writes about different kinds of topics which range anywhere from light topics such as eating organic foods, the wonders of coconut oil, or even her latest posting about “no-pooing”, to more controversial topics such as vaccinations, breastfeeding in public, or circumcision.  The reason why I wanted to write this week was because I wanted to share my perspective from being married to a “crunchy mom”.  And honestly, this post is more directed to the men who are married to crunchy moms who might not be fully comfortable with the crunchy beliefs that their wives have.  This is a message to you from a man who used to feel the exact same way.

Of course, today, my wife and I are on the same page as to how we want to raise our children, but that wasn’t always the case.  Originally, I believed the most mainstream opinions that the world today has conditioned everyone to believe, such as you are supposed to give birth in the hospital, you are supposed to get your kid vaccinated, and that you stop breastfeeding after 6-8 months and then give them regular milk.  My wife had to do a lot of research to get me to see a different perspective. 

For starters, when Alyssa and I found out we were pregnant with our daughter, the topic of whether to have the baby at home or in the hospital arose.  At first, I definitely wanted to have the baby at the hospital, but she wanted to have the baby at home.  She set up a meeting between us and a few midwives that she knew so that they could explain to me the differences.  At first, I thought it was just going to be a couple of old broads giving me their old-school opinion, but it was actually well-trained women who have done research and gone to school for this that were sharing with me real-life experiences that they have had.  But it wasn't until one of them asked me a simple question that I really got on board with the idea.

One of the midwives asked me, “how long have humans have been around?”  I said that they have been around for thousands of years.  She then asked me, “Did you know that hospital births have only been around for the past hundred years?”  At this point, I saw where she was going with this and I understood.  If women have been giving birth at home without hospitals for thousands of years, then why couldn't my wife?  Childbirth is a natural bodily experience.  A woman’s body is conditioned for it, but somehow, the world has conditioned us to believe that it is more of a surgical procedure that requires a doctor’s assistance.  Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t instances where a doctor isn’t needed because there are sometimes complications with childbirth, but for the most part, childbirth is a natural process that should be able to be done anywhere. 

Throughout the course of the 9-10 months that my wife was pregnant, she did more research about different topics such as vaccinations.  Again, I thought that vaccinations were just another thing that you are supposed to do.  Nope.  I found out that actually, widespread vaccinations in the U.S. have only been around since about 1812.  Before that, not a lot of people were getting vaccinated.  Nowadays, there are vaccinations for almost everything, but what a lot of people don’t know is that they are not necessary.  In fact, many vaccinations today can be more dangerous than the actual sickness or disease that they are meant to prevent because of the ingredients in them.  Most vaccinations are composed of mercury, heavy metals, and in some cases, aborted fetal cells.  Don’t believe me?  Do some research.  You will be shocked at all the crap in vaccines.  I wouldn’t want that crap in my body, so why the jack would I want to pump my new-born baby full of that garbage.  Honestly, the only real vaccine that a baby needs is breast milk, which brings me to my next topic. {Ultimately, the vaccine debate is something you need to research for your family and decide what you feel is best for your children. Our choice to not vaccinate has been a long time in the making, after a lot of research, praying and soul searching. You can read more about my research and perspective on vaccines HERE.}

When my wife told me that she would breastfeed as long as she could, I thought she meant around 6-8 months, but she literally meant “as long as she can”.  When I asked why she wouldn’t switch to regular milk, once again, I would get schooled by her extensive research.  A women’s breast milk is constantly changing depending on the baby’s needs.  It is full of natural proteins, nutrients, fats and sugars that a baby needs in order to develop and grow.  Not only that, but a woman’s breast milk contains all of the antibodies that a baby needs in order to fight off infections and other sicknesses and ultimately, naturally strengthens the baby’s immune system, whereas vaccines will most likely weaken it.  

When I asked about regular milk, I found out that milk actually doesn't have much of a nutritional benefit to our bodies.  Apparently, there are good and bad types of calcium.  Because of all of the processes that milk goes through in order for us to drink it, our bodies aren’t actually able to absorb the calcium that is in milk.  Also, because of the hormones that are injected into the cows and the milk itself, more and more children, especially girls, are going through puberty earlier than usual.  So giving our daughter milk was out of the question.  

But what about formula?  Again, I learned that formula is not an adequate replacement for breast milk.  In fact, formula contains fats that are not easily digestible and if given too much, can result in childhood obesity.  I never really fought with my wife on this matter, because to me, if my kid is healthy, happy, and is growing, I don’t care how long they breastfeed.   Our daughter is over a year old and is still breastfeeding.  Yes, she eats regular foods like chicken, eggs, and puree baby foods, but she still gets her daily fix of milk from the tap. {I would like to add that this is not a hate on formula or moms who use formula. We realize there are instances where some moms cannot physically breastfeed. Our belief is that in general, for the average mom and child, breastmilk is the ultimate nutrition and food we can give our child, and shouldn't be a "will I" or "won't I." Not only to save money but because the benefits are innumerable and there really is no comparison. Also, there is such a thing as "toddler formula." If there is toddler formula, I don't understand the controversy over me breastfeeding past one haha.}

Probably one of the biggest crunchy debates that my wife and I ever really did have when we found out we were having a baby was the topic of circumcision.  And again, I thought that it was just something that happened to all boys when they are born.  But this was the one topic that really got my wife going on her research.  If we had a boy, she did NOT want him circumcised.  Doctors in America (emphasis on "in America" as we are the only country to routinely practice circumcision on infants) say that there are health benefits to circumcision.  The most notable belief is the decreased risk of a sexually transmitted disease.  Really?  If cutting off the end of my penis reduces the risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease, then chopping off my ear reduces the risk of me getting an inner-ear infection. When I heard that that was the most notable benefit to circumcision, I couldn’t freaking believe it.  How about this?  Don’t have unprotected sex unless you want to have a kid, I’m sure that reduces the risk of an STD better than circumcision.  Besides the fact that America routinely practices infant circumcision and has one of the highest STD rates in the industrialized world. Europe doesn't routinely circumcise and their rates are a lot lower. Just saying. {to read more about circumcision, the lack of benefits, and other info, click HERE.}

After reading about the “benefits” of circumcision, I also read about the risks, and as it turns out, if the doctor botches the procedure, the baby may end up having to have its penis fully amputated and in some cases, the baby can actually die.  Don’t believe me?  Again, do some research. Babies die of circumcision related blood loss more than a 100 times a year here. You will be shocked to see how common it actually is that a baby dies from a botched circumcision.  I knew that circumcision was the removal of the foreskin of the penis.  What I didn’t know was that when a baby is born, the foreskin is actually fused to the penis and that, over time, it retracts naturally.  So when a newborn baby boy is being circumcised, the doctor is actually peeling flesh away from flesh.  How would you like to feel that?  I’m sure you wouldn’t.  Try taking a scalpel to your finger and taking off your attached nail, for an example. 

What really convinced me against circumcision was after hearing all of this, Alyssa asked me to watch a medical video of a circumcision being performed, and the way that the doctor was so brutally handling the child and the amount of pain I could see on the baby’s face and hear in its cries made me realize that I would NEVER want my kid to go through that kind of pain.  So, if God ever decides to bless Alyssa and me with a son or sons, they will be staying intact.

I know that most of the men sitting here reading this might be thinking that I’m totally nuts, but seriously, I was the same as you and have had same reservations that you might have against your wife or girlfriend's viewpoints.  But seriously, if you take the time to do the research, you will learn that your crunchy wife might not be as crazy as you think she is.  I thought mine was, and look at me.  I’m almost as crunchy as my wife!

If you want proof for anything that I have talked about, let me tell you this.  My daughter is now over a year old and since the day she was born, she has never been sick.  She hasn’t had so much as a cough or a runny nose.  Why?  My wife and I believe it's because we don't vaccinate her and she's been breastfed so long, she has quite the immune system.  Another kid that I know who is around the same age as our daughter has had all of their vaccinations and they have been sick on several different occasions with things that there vaccinations should have prevented you would think. 

I’m very blessed that my wife is as crunchy as she is, because if she wasn’t I couldn’t even imagine how our daughter would have turned out.  Without her doing her research, we probably would have gone to the hospital to deliver our daughter where all sorts of interventions could have changed the outcome, gotten her vaccinated, and given her formula instead of breast milk.  All in all, things could have turned out very differently than they are now.

Today, I am about as crunchy as my wife when, before, I was pretty “creamy," I guess that would be the opposite of crunchy if we are going based off of peanut butter types. I hope that I was able to give you guys a little insight to what its like being a guy who is married to a crunchy mama and hopefully you have learned a few things and will do your own research so that you are prepared to be the best father you can be to your kids.

                                                                                                                Best wishes,

                                                                                                                Justin

My Birth Story

I've written my birth story on Facebook, but this one may be a bit more different or what some would consider "graphic," so if you are not interested in a no holds barred pregnancy and birth story, you may not want to continues. If you choose to read on, I hope you enjoy!!!

My husband and I were married in 2011...

 Shortly after, we got pregnant with a "honeymoon baby." A week after figuring out we were, I experienced a miscarriage.

It was traumatizing, because no one really believed me at first. They thought it was all in my head and I was giving myself symptoms. But I knew. And it was confirmed during my "labor" and when I passed the fetus.

My heart broke that day. It's not as though we were trying, and we only just realized what was going on. But that loss becomes a part of you. And it took me a long time to process that.

I started wanting a baby to replace it. I realized I couldn't replace the baby I had lossed, but now I hungered for a baby in my womb. Realistically, we were not ready for a baby. And I knew that. So it was a huge internal battle.

In this time, I also realized how little I knew about babies and birth. I had known since I was 14, and a woman I babysat for had her baby in water home and told me how great it was, that I wanted to do that as well. So I started reading up on all the things to do with babies, birth, and pregnancy I knew nothing about, so that when my time came I'd be knowledgeable and ready. I discerned the different studies and articles and blogs I read, and decided where I stood in a lot of parenting subjects, many of which I am quite passionate about today.

Months later, I still missed the child I lost, but I didn't want to risk getting pregnant before we were ready. I prayed, and I asked God to take away my desire for a baby. I told Him we weren't ready, I wasn't ready, and to prepare me and help me wait til it was our time to have children.

My prayer was answered. I missed my loss, yes, but I no longer hungered for a child I couldn't have. I was satisfied with where I was in life, being newlyweds looking for a home. Little did I know, a month later I would get pregnant again.

We figure we conceived Bree a few weeks before Christmas (and I wondered why I was so tired and bloated, ha!) And in January, when my period was only two days late (totally normal for me) and Justin was freaking out, we took a test to help us feel better. Because of course, we couldn't possibly be pregnant. We were using protection. That always works, right?

But, those two pink lines appeared immediately. And Justin almost collapsed when he saw them. Again, I had an internal conflict. I remember asking God, "What gives!" I had just come to terms with not having kids for a while. But, while it took me a while to come to terms with my pregnancy, Bree has been the most wonderful curveball ever.

At the very beginning I had no symptoms and thought I'd be one of those lucky girls who never had morning sickness. A week later I was so severely sick I ended up in the hospital. I struggled with hyperemesis gravidarum until I was about 23 weeks along, when I believe God healed me of it. I had to quit my job and take meds (bleh) because it was so rough and I started losing weight (not good during pregnancy, and poor work, I was sick so often I couldn't even be a good employee). The slightest movement, smell, or taste would make me nauseous and vomit. Sometimes I wouldn't even have the feeling I needed to vomit, it would just happen. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. I was in and out of the hospital about three times with several unnecessary ultrasounds because of this, and early Braxton Hicks which had us worried then about early labor. The first trimester was no fun at all.

We learned on April 30 of 2012 that we would be having a little girl! A major shock to my husband and his family, as his little sister is the first girl in a generation or so, and everyone has boys first. But we were excited about having a little princess.

I had begun to feel her moving in me about two weeks or so before we learned her gender, and it was the most amazing feeling! It is mindblowing the feeling when you realize that little life in you really is real, and is moving about! Once the flutterings turned to kicks Justin could feel too, we had many wonderful times just laying in bed cuddling and laying hands on my belly to feel our daughter's activity.

Between the hyperemesis and exhaustion, I got to truly enjoy pregnancy without qualms for only about ten weeks in the middle. Once I got into the third trimester the exhaustion kicked in again and so did the achy EVERYTHING. I can't even describe how uncomfortable end of pregnancy is physically. Then, you're always tired but can never sleep because you can't get in a comfortable enough position to, and have to sleep with pillows between your legs because the pressue is just too much for your pubic bone and pelvis. No fun at all.

At around 37 or 38 weeks my midwife was manipulating my belly during a prenatal to feel her position and couldn't get a read. We were worried the baby was breech, so she wanted a colleague to see me and see if she could read the baby's postion. I went to see her the next day and she couldn't either, she suspected the baby was either posterior (spine to spine with me) or a rare form of breech she hadn't seen before. Basically,  it seemed the baby's spine was in my pelvis, her head and butt/legs up in my ribs. Obviously not a breech that could end in vaginal delivery unless they could change the baby's position, and I was freaked.


As I wasn't seeing an OB, my wonderful chiropractor (which I would recommend to any pregnant woman) ordered me an ultrasound for later in the week, and me and my husband, our friends, and my midwife were praying heavily for a head down baby.

The night before my ultrasound that baby was moving a ridiculous amount, to the point it hurt. Not usual for a "term" baby. Justin told work he would be in late and we went to the hospital to learn that she was, in fact, head down! I really believe because of our prayer she moved back to where she should be. That would explain all the movement! She flipped back to where she was supposed to be.

39 weeks passed, then 40, and my husband took vacation time from work in expectation of our little one's arrival. And then that week went by. I was 41 weeks and he had to go back to work. His first day back, Justin began having some health issues and the doctor wanted to do a procedure within a few weeks. We didn't want that interfering with our birth, so we decided to try castor oil, something I'm not to keen on, but at the time we were desperate. (PS, don't do it.)

I had the expected stomach cramps and runny stool, but no contractions. Later on in the evening however, I began having more intense contractions than the Braxton Hicks I've had the whole pregnancy, so I called Justin home from school, and my doulas (Britney and Angela) came over for company.

They began getting more intense and the big one hit. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced, and while they lessened in between, the pain flowed right into the next one and next one. Finally it stopped and my midwife (on the phone with Justin) suggested a bath. I usually hate baths, but the water felt so good on my back and pelvis (yay for me choosing a water birth). We decided to go to Justin's parent's house (where we are planning to birth) and while I had mild contractions, the intensity stopped and eventually the rushes did too. I was pretty bummed.

Some have told me I didn't have contractions, it was just side effects from the castor oil, but it had been so long since I took it, I really believe I had started labor and it stalled. It happens. Maybe it was the relaxation of the water, or the stress/excitement of going to the in laws and the pressure from myself and others to have the baby. Who knows.

I also feel the reason it stopped, and the reason I went so far past my "due date" was because I was fearful of not being respected as a parent, something I still struggle with. Emotions have a big part in labor and birth, and negative feelings can absolutely stall labor. I had received so much flack for my choice in homebirth, that I worried if that would continue in my parenting choices, so that kept me from entering labor. (So stick to your guns and beliefs, and don't let worry affect you!)

I turned 42 weeks on September 30, 2012, and my midwife thought it was time we could try some natural induction techniques, black and blue cohosh, stripping my membranes, and breast pumping. Apparently the herbs should work in a decent amount of time, and we used them at nine am that morning, but they didn't work. I was pretty upset, wondering to myself if I'd ever meet my baby. I was too tense to allow my midwife to check if I was dilated for the membrane strip. My husband, cousin, and I went with a friend to a harvest festival a bit of a drive away and a did plenty of walking and standing around, and it did a good job of cheering me up.

We went home that evening to visit my in laws who expressed their concern about not wanting me to go too late, concerns of a big baby for my small frame, which I can understand from their end, but also felt unnecessarily scared. I've known women to go to 43-44 weeks. On the way home Justin shared his worries as well, and decided that if she didn't come within a couple days I'd go to the hospital ( I was in tears praying I'd go into labor asap).

We called our midwife to let her know our decision, and knowing my feelings towards hospitals she offered to come over that same evening again to try stripping my membranes again and administering the herbs again if needed. We had "alone" time to try to kickstart things as well.

Our midwife arrived at about nine thirty that evening and checked me to see if she could strip my membranes but my cervix was closed, so that was a no go. Very soft, but not open. So I took the black and blue cohosh again. Angie (my midwife) decided to stay to see if it worked, and slept on our futon. She wanted me to rest in the event I went into labor, so I put on some relaxing music and layed in my dark bedroom with my husband, dozing on and off. I kept waking feeling the occasional tightening, and around midnight I couldn't stay in bed any longer. Sitting on the toilet helped, and rocking in my rocking chair, Justin by my side timing my contractions and Angie talking with me (a good distraction).

Around two or two thirty that morning my water broke, and I was ecstatic! I had been for that glorious sign of labor for weeks. FINALLY a sign I was really in labor, it was happening! I had been sitting in my rocking chair, experiencing a contraction and I jumped, thinking I peed myself, but when I stood up fluid began steadily coming down my legs. I just remember being so happy about it.

It felt like I wasn't in early labor very long. Shortly after my water breaking the contractions starting getting much more steady and stronger. I tried getting in the bathtub for a while but it didn't help, so we decided to head to the in laws, where I was birthing (our third floor walk-up wasn't well suited for a birth).

We drove in Angie's van, where I am pretty certain I stuck my head out the window like a dog, the cool night air on face helped me cope with the pressure. We pulled into the driveway maybe around five (time seems to fly by and yet take forever), where the front door was open, my doulas were waiting, and the smell of coffee floated out. Too bad I couldn't have any!

We went downstairs to the basement (finished basement, living room and bathroom included, as well as my brother in law's bedroom) and they began setting up the tub as I loudly vocalized my way through contractions. I finally got to sink in for a while, and it was the BEST feeling in the world. It didn't take away the inner pain, but definitely relieved back and belly pressure, and the warmth was calming. Sooo relaxing.

A lot of the night is a blur now, but at one point I did fall asleep and my head bobbed into the pool, and I woke up snorting water, no fun, but humorous to think back on! I also got overheated and almost passed out at one point and had to stay out for a while. But this was my fault, it felt so good I just didn't want to get out! You can only refuse for so long when your midwife will intervene on your behalf.

Contractions on the toilet (claustrophobia in the tiny bathroom didn't help those, I imagine in a normal sized bathroom it would have been better), on the birth ball, and on my brother in law's mattress as well. This is basically what my labor consisted of, back and forth all morning. My contractions were all over the place, also totally normal (but something they don't tend to be fond of in hospitals). I had 10-20 minutes breaks in between (I fell asleep between contractions, so easily, that I thought they were one on top of the other), never steady, just all of the places differences. Normal.

{during labor}

               

Angie decided to check me, and lo and behold I was 9 1/2 dialated! Yay! She wanted me to labor on land a bit more before going back in the pool, she didn't want me relaxing too much and stalling labor more. I bellowed my way through more contractions, bearing my legs down against my doulas (I feel bad for their ribs now that I remember), and begged Angie to check me. When she did, I was dialted but with a slight lip, so I had to push as she pushed it back. It was hard, but not bad like I was expecting. I was so relieved that I would be able to start pushing soon!

I pushed some in the water but wasn't making a lot of progress, we needed to get the baby under my pubic bone. So Justin and my doulas pulled me up out of the pool (weak third trimester legs and a deep pool equals needing help) and I layed down on the mattress we pulled out of my brother-in-law's room.  Pushing was a definite challenge, especially on my back. I was on my knees for a bit, swaying my hips, and that helped so much, but I was so enthused when she told me I could get back into the pool.

My doulas tell me I pushed for around forty minutes. It honestly didn't feel that long. I pushed and pushed with each contraction. We tried to aim for two pushes per contraction, but sometimes it felt better to push more, depending on how long they lasted. That's the thing with birth, you do the work, and have to be able to trust your insticnts. Trust your birth team too, but know when you have to do something different.

Pushing was difficult, being something I've never done before, but felt so great at the same time. When a contraction started it just felt right to push and took away from my belly pressure.

When the baby started crowning and I touched her head it was so surreal. Her head started coming out and I felt the burn of myself stretching, but again, it was relieving, because I knew she was on her way to me. I don't even remember her head coming fully out, I just remember the burning stopped.

That's when Angie asked everyone to start praying. She seemed anxious asking me to push harder, which I did, and she started pulling a bit. My pushing wasn't doing it, so I turned over onto my knees, holding onto Justin, who was outside of the pool.  (This is commonly known as the Gaskin Maneuver, the only obstetric maneuver named after a home birth midwife). I was later told the baby's shoulder had been stuck under my pubic bone. But she popped out! And then I remember Angie yelling "pick up your baby!" (As my midwife told me later on, I have the lowest pubic bone she has ever seen. If I had birthed in a hospital, I would have been sectioned for sure.)

I looked down and saw this big baby in the water! I picked her up and held her against me, but she was a bit blue and not breathing. We used what is called "placental resuscitation," you stand with your uterus higher than the baby and push, sending oxygen-filled blood from the placenta to the baby. And it worked!

Though there was a bit of stress at the end of my labor, I never panicked. I remember having total peace and intuitively knowing that everything would be okay with my baby, and it was. It was wonderful. I followed my instincts, and they were right.

My baby Bree was nine pounds and 20 3/4 inches long, and the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I loved my homebirth, and can't imagine doing it in a hospital hooked up to IVs and having doctors and nurses around telling my body what to do. My body knew what to do all on its own, and it did so wonderfully. Home birth may not be for everybody, but it is definitely for me.

{In the birthing pool, one of my doulas lending support.}

{Justin, the moment Bree was born.}

{First family photo.}

{Skin to skin}

{Our first picture together post-labor}

{Bree at 4 months old}

Our Bree today!

{Smiling at Daddy & Mommy at dinner}

{Cuddling with Daddy}

Why I Chose AP

I knew since I was 14 years old that I wanted to birth in water. Years later, I was newly married and discovered I was pregnant, and began reading up more on this birth I instinctively knew I wanted.

I started read books by Ina May Gaskin and watching documentaries like "The Business of Being Born" and discovered I not only wanted to birth in water, I wanted to birth at home as well.

I won't go into the details here, I'll save that for another time, but while homebirth isn't for everyone, it was most certainly for me. In the course of my pregnancy I read countless books, articles, and studies, and in turn decided attachment parenting was for me. Dr. Sears calls attachment parenting "a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents.  Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby. A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture. Bonding is a series of steps in your lifelong growing together with your child."

To me, attachment parenting is exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months or older (food before one is just for fun), baby-led weaning (and if that means still nursing, even for comfort, at 2, so be it), co-sleeping (sleeping in the same room, commonly confused with bedsharing), natural preventative health measures, and more. Attachment parenting means no Ferber method baby training (cry it out methods). I will also be making my own baby food when the time arises. 

I've always been a "crunchy" person, never quite fitting in with the mainstream, never sure where my niche was. I didn't know I wouldn't find it til I was a mom. I knew as a child God's call on my life was to be a mommy, and now I'm on the journey to fulfill that calling.

While I have read countless books and articles, and will continue to, I do not pretend to know everything. I'm still learning, and my child is still new to this world. But I have learned a lot, and plan on using this new found knowledge in my parenting journey. And as I journal this process, you get to join me!