Friday, June 28, 2013
Stress & Blessings
I've recently started working outside the home again, only a few hours a week, but now we have to decide it it's time for me to leave. Which is upsetting.
Don't get me wrong! My calling is to be a stay at home mom, I've always known this. For this season I took this job to help in some other areas. But it may be conflicting with some things. And we don't know what to do now. It's disheartening, I'm really enjoying my work and my new co-workers and I'll be sad to leave if/when it comes down to it.
As my emotions were high today my exceedingly active daughter did not want to be still, and wanted to be constantly touching me if not playing, sometimes both at the same time actually haha. I'm more and more understanding the mom term of being "over-touched." By nine p.m. as we were waiting for Daddy to come home, I was crawling out of my skin from my want to not be touched.
Bree is working on her seventh (7th!!!) tooth, and is a biting, teething, stinker because of it. She is allll about biting right now. Biting your face, your shoulder, your toes.... biting mommy while nursing... its been a joy. And she is getting into head butting (where this came from I do not know). Today was literally CryingBitingTeethingNursingTOUCHTOUCHTOUCH. I was pretty frustrated, and that is okay because it totally happens.
At one point I just broke down crying. I hadn't eaten all day (not good for my supply), had a raging headache, a child who wouldn't be sat down... it wasn't seeming to end. Bree looked up at me and apparently found my breakdown hilarious, as she started clapped and laughing hysterically! When she realized how well she was clapping (something she's been working hard at) she was so pleased with herself she clapped and laughed even harder out of sheer glee.
Which of course made me smile and laugh too.
The tides are hopefully changing. I've been a very unhappy person this week, and I don't like how it affects myself and my family. I am so incredibly thankful though, that no matter how hard the day is, I have a little bundle of happiness who can cheer me up and brings me such joy. She is worth everything, and I wouldn't change a thing.
Pray for us, think positive thoughts, whatever it is you do. We can use them. But even in our hardships we are filled with joy, its so wonderful, I really am blessed.